Just when I had settled into the idea that our family was comfortable, a perfect number, perfectly even, done, comes along a new little guy and I am so elated, over the moon, that he’s here! I admit, I was scared, worried. It had been a few years since I had last been through babies, diapers, and sleepless nights. I remembered it being difficult. Beautiful, but difficult. Now he’s here and I’m in the trenches again, but it’s surprisingly good; he’s surprisingly good! So good actually, that it’s scary.
The first month, he pretty much slept the night and late into the day. I was worried something might be wrong. I remembered my other two waking more often, feeding more often. I had to remind myself he’s just a month old and can’t really do much else other than sleep.
He still sleeps the night. He goes down as early as eight ‘o clock (which is very early for us… don’t judge!) and is up about 2-3 times to nurse quickly and go right back to sleep. He’s up everyday at seven ‘o clock, perfect time for me. He usually allows me some time to get my other kids fed and ready for school before he gets fussy, but only because he’s tired and ready for his first nap of the day. It’s like he came already programmed with the perfect schedule! He’s not colicky, doesn’t cry all that much, wakes up happy, nurses well, is getting used to our daily commutes of after school activities.
Sound great, right? Well, it’s NOT! It’s scary shiitake!
Here’s the catch: it always has me thinking something is on the way, something not so good!
Sure, he sleeps great now, but how about a few months from now? When is it coming?! Will it be when he starts solids? When he starts crawling? walking? 18 months, more or less?
Is the colic coming? The teething… the teething will be bad! My other two didn’t have bad teething episodes, but that might be his thing.
The toddler stage! That’s it! He’s going to be an unruly, wild animal of a toddler. Could it be? Could that be his ‘bad stage.’ I just know something is coming, right?!
Ah, the irony! We want things to be ok and good and smooth, but when they are, we find it too difficult to believe!
Why do we do this to ourselves! I do this ALL the time! When things are good, I can’t help but find it suspicious. Like it only means something is right around the corner, something that will test me in some way, rock my little world in some way. Why can’t we just accept and enjoy the good.
My husband says I over think everything. Yes, I do. But I’m sure this doesn’t just happen to me. I’m quite sure this happens to a lot of us!
We need to stop over thinking and just enjoy the good. Thank God my little fluff butt is a good baby. I REALLY hope it continues! Thank God he’s fitting in so well. I think Heaven knew something… I think Heaven knew we might all finally just lose our minds if we were rocked too strongly, ha!
Chaos & Candidness 